“He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together.” Colossians 1:17
Some days are easier than others to hold things together. If I’ve learned anything over the years, especially the past few years, I have learned that it is OK to rely on others. It’s OK to look to others to help you hold it together. In fact it’s essential. Could we all make it on our own if we had to? I suppose we could. But if we have others to help us along the way, it makes it so much easier. Life is hard enough the way it is without having family and friends to support us.
As I sit writing this, I am outside looking at the lake. I am at complete peace. There are days when I thought I would never be at this place emotionally. There are days when I wanted to give up. My life changed drastically before my eyes, and I did not know how to navigate these changes. Since I didn’t know how to tread through those waters, I thought about leaving completely. I honestly thought that starting over by myself was what I needed to do. I can’t help but think about this often. As I physically tried to leave one day, I was instantly stopped in my tracks. God spoke to me and told me to stay. I didn’t believe that it was God at first. I felt like I had been ignored and forgotten about. I again tried to leave, But His voice got louder. “Stay!” I remember turning around and walking back in, and I never walked back out again.
Do I wonder about the what ifs? I do. But I don’t let it consume my mind. I have too much to be grateful for. This beautiful life that can often times feel cruel. This life is worth staying for. It’s worth watching the hummingbird out my window. It’s worth sitting in solitude in the gentle breeze, looking at the gorgeous Lake view. It is worth the trips with family and friends. It is worth the endless memories that have been made and the ones that are yet to come. It is worth all of the joys and all of the sorrows.
I can’t believe it has been two months since I have updated my blog. Life has been crazy busy, but a good crazy busy. There have been a lot of changes occurring in our life. We know that when one chapter ends, a new one is beginning. With that being said, I will give a brief update on some happenings.
April was a busy month.. We celebrated Easter with our grandchildren, Paislee and Gunnar. They had so much fun hunting for the Easter eggs. For several days afterwards, Paislee would beg for the Easter bunny to come again. It is so fun having little ones in the house again to share in these amazing moments. On April 16, we celebrated my mom‘s 81st birthday. Sheila and Ron and all of their family were able to be here to help us celebrate. We were able to take pizza and cake to the nursing home and enjoy the day. It meant so much to my mom to have family around to help her celebrate. Kalli and I were able to take in a Kane Brown concert with our good friends Beve and Grace. This was Grace‘s first concert experience so it was fun to be able to be a part of it.
April also brought about the beginning of some permanent changes for Mark and I. We sold our trailer house at the lake in anticipation for next steps. Before you think wow they’re not gonna be going to the lake anymore? Well, that is not the case. In fact, it is quite the opposite. We are having a new home built and brought in to our lake spot. If all goes well, it should hopefully be here the middle of August. We did not anticipate this to occur this soon, but I need to remind myself; it is on His timing, not ours. And yes, you may have guessed that this will be our permanent home. Kalli officially finished her junior year and next May she will graduate. We plan to stay in our house in Carrington until then. After she graduates next year, we plan to move to the lake full-time. We have done a lot of planning and talking about this for the past few years. We feel this is where we are meant to be. And of course we have our second home in Florida a.k.a. Bailee and Tristan‘s house! 😉 word-of-mouth spreads fast and we have had many people ask about our house in Carrington. We’ve actually had a few serious people and honestly our house is already sold contingent that everything works out with their home. Things seem to be falling into place and I truly believe this is what is meant to be.
In the midst of all of this, we have been getting the trailer house at the lake, ready to be moved off. It has been a lot of work and Mark and I have spent a lot of time preparing for this move. And through all of this Mark’s dad and my mom are both declining healthwise. We are so thankful that they are both being taken care of by amazing staff in the nursing homes that they reside. It does not make their decline any easier, but it sure does give us a peace of mind.
Mark has been busy doing some guided fishing excursions whenever he can. The more he does this, the more he realizes that this is his calling. Every time he comes back from an excursion, he gets more and more excited about it. I truly hope that this chapter in his career works out the way that I truly feel it is headed. this morning, he took a family of three out fishing. A dad, a mom, and their daughter. He brought the mom into our garage to use the restroom prior to leaving. She told him for some reason she is a little nervous. And Mark said oh my gosh, I have four girls you have nothing to be nervous about. I don’t know if that eased her mind or not, but it sure gave me a big smile. It’s amazing to watch someone you love succeed at something they love.
As I sit by the lake, I’m wearing a shirt that I made in honor of my dad. The shirt says, “live life to the fullest, no regrets.” This, my friends, has been a model that Mark and I have truly tried to live by these last few years. And we hope to continue to live by this. Life is hard enough if you are stuck in a place where you feel you cannot get out of and you need to change, my advice is go for it. If it doesn’t work out, you can always start over again. There is no limit to the number of times that you can start over. God wants what is best for all of us. Go live your best life.
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